to Mack

Watching you slowly going away, the life leaving your eyes, I felt you labor to breath, your little body convulsing and weakening. You held on so tightly -for a while- fighting against the end. Your sweet face twisted in a shape of unmistakable pain, and you cried a small sigh. I wanted to help you, ease your pain, but I didn't know how. So I held you. I stroked your fur, telling you everything would be alright. I held you until I knew you were gone.

You were so thin and fragile in my hands, how did I let you get this sick?
Poor sweet cavy, I loved you but I neglected you these last weeks.
You were on the back burner, when you need to be in the forefront.

I wrapped your body in the hand towel you had been laying on and placed you in a box.
I took you outside and began to dig.
Twice I opened the box and pulled the towel away to make sure you were really gone. I fear that you are still here, alone in a box - you used to have shoe boxes as your own little house, that was when you were small, that first summer of your life. You loved it. Later you moved into your pig-loo. You loved it more, and we loved to watch you turtle about. I never gave it back to you after the last time I cleaned it, you seemed to like the wooden castle better - I considered burying you in your igloo - the second time I checked your body had gone stiff.

Digging the hole, I cried. The more I dug, the less I cried. You are gone and it is just you thin body and lifeless eyes in the box.

Explaining to the kids what had happened, I explained to myself what I hoped. Afterlife - a place where you are as free as you want to be, a place with all of your favorite things, a place where the sick and the slain are taken by a merciful God to be well forever.

For five years you were with me. Helping me through depression and downfalls. My dependant who I depended on for so much. You kept me sane and caring. You gave me a soul to hold and love.

My sweet little piglet, My baby Mack, I'll miss you and love you.