I feel the need to fly -
I don't want to fight anymore,
I want to get away
but I love you, I do -
I love the security and stability you give,
but I long and lust for danger
Wild and Fierce and Free
My lion hair expanding
to fill a Montana Sky.
Would you go with me?
Could you leave all else behind?
Pack up and go with me, or just go-
out into the wilderness?
Start fresh and new together?
I can do so on my own.
"They say we're young, and we don't know'
may be they are right,
maybe I need some room to grow....
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Solitude of his Own Heart
He sits and wonders why,
why is he alone?
When the bell rang
he was on his own.
Now he's lock within a chamber
of his own bleeding heart.
He's overwhelmed by the end,
he thought he was at the start.
He has time now to ponder
what life was all about,
and he cries as he realizes
that he has gone first
and "those who went before,
[they] are soon forgotten."
So he sits and wonders why,
Why he is all alone,
Why the bell rang
when he was all alone?
He has no friends to comfort,
and no one to comfort him.
He closes his eyes,
the light has gone dim.
There is nothing else to do,
he missed his time to part.
So he'll sleep and weep forever
in the "solitude of his own heart."
why is he alone?
When the bell rang
he was on his own.
Now he's lock within a chamber
of his own bleeding heart.
He's overwhelmed by the end,
he thought he was at the start.
He has time now to ponder
what life was all about,
and he cries as he realizes
that he has gone first
and "those who went before,
[they] are soon forgotten."
So he sits and wonders why,
Why he is all alone,
Why the bell rang
when he was all alone?
He has no friends to comfort,
and no one to comfort him.
He closes his eyes,
the light has gone dim.
There is nothing else to do,
he missed his time to part.
So he'll sleep and weep forever
in the "solitude of his own heart."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
to Mack
Watching you slowly going away, the life leaving your eyes, I felt you labor to breath, your little body convulsing and weakening. You held on so tightly -for a while- fighting against the end. Your sweet face twisted in a shape of unmistakable pain, and you cried a small sigh. I wanted to help you, ease your pain, but I didn't know how. So I held you. I stroked your fur, telling you everything would be alright. I held you until I knew you were gone.
You were so thin and fragile in my hands, how did I let you get this sick?
Poor sweet cavy, I loved you but I neglected you these last weeks.
You were on the back burner, when you need to be in the forefront.
I wrapped your body in the hand towel you had been laying on and placed you in a box.
I took you outside and began to dig.
Twice I opened the box and pulled the towel away to make sure you were really gone. I fear that you are still here, alone in a box - you used to have shoe boxes as your own little house, that was when you were small, that first summer of your life. You loved it. Later you moved into your pig-loo. You loved it more, and we loved to watch you turtle about. I never gave it back to you after the last time I cleaned it, you seemed to like the wooden castle better - I considered burying you in your igloo - the second time I checked your body had gone stiff.
Digging the hole, I cried. The more I dug, the less I cried. You are gone and it is just you thin body and lifeless eyes in the box.
Explaining to the kids what had happened, I explained to myself what I hoped. Afterlife - a place where you are as free as you want to be, a place with all of your favorite things, a place where the sick and the slain are taken by a merciful God to be well forever.
For five years you were with me. Helping me through depression and downfalls. My dependant who I depended on for so much. You kept me sane and caring. You gave me a soul to hold and love.
My sweet little piglet, My baby Mack, I'll miss you and love you.
You were so thin and fragile in my hands, how did I let you get this sick?
Poor sweet cavy, I loved you but I neglected you these last weeks.
You were on the back burner, when you need to be in the forefront.
I wrapped your body in the hand towel you had been laying on and placed you in a box.
I took you outside and began to dig.
Twice I opened the box and pulled the towel away to make sure you were really gone. I fear that you are still here, alone in a box - you used to have shoe boxes as your own little house, that was when you were small, that first summer of your life. You loved it. Later you moved into your pig-loo. You loved it more, and we loved to watch you turtle about. I never gave it back to you after the last time I cleaned it, you seemed to like the wooden castle better - I considered burying you in your igloo - the second time I checked your body had gone stiff.
Digging the hole, I cried. The more I dug, the less I cried. You are gone and it is just you thin body and lifeless eyes in the box.
Explaining to the kids what had happened, I explained to myself what I hoped. Afterlife - a place where you are as free as you want to be, a place with all of your favorite things, a place where the sick and the slain are taken by a merciful God to be well forever.
For five years you were with me. Helping me through depression and downfalls. My dependant who I depended on for so much. You kept me sane and caring. You gave me a soul to hold and love.
My sweet little piglet, My baby Mack, I'll miss you and love you.
approach of fall
Observation
Driving behind a school bus on a cool, early September morning, I see a boy turn and look out the window. Begrudgingly he is submitting to fall, leaving behind the freedom of summer. For me the release from the heat and the change of seasons allow my heart and mind to escape and dream. I live in castles in the sky on mornings like this. My castle is among many in the light blue sea of a September sky.
Haiku
A single leaf falls,
announcing Autumn's rebirth
my singing heart rises
Colors
A green-golden leaf flutters and falls towards me off the roof of the harsh yellow bus. It dances in front of the red brake lights and alights on my windshield. As we accelerate, it swirls in the brisk air, glad to be free. The brown faced boy mourns his entrapment. Could he attach his soul to the leaf, his heart would fly to the silver-white castles. My castle is among many in the light blue sea of a September sky.
It is a relief to be free of the heat and relax in the promises of fall.
Driving behind a school bus on a cool, early September morning, I see a boy turn and look out the window. Begrudgingly he is submitting to fall, leaving behind the freedom of summer. For me the release from the heat and the change of seasons allow my heart and mind to escape and dream. I live in castles in the sky on mornings like this. My castle is among many in the light blue sea of a September sky.
Haiku
A single leaf falls,
announcing Autumn's rebirth
my singing heart rises
Colors
A green-golden leaf flutters and falls towards me off the roof of the harsh yellow bus. It dances in front of the red brake lights and alights on my windshield. As we accelerate, it swirls in the brisk air, glad to be free. The brown faced boy mourns his entrapment. Could he attach his soul to the leaf, his heart would fly to the silver-white castles. My castle is among many in the light blue sea of a September sky.
It is a relief to be free of the heat and relax in the promises of fall.
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